


Two of a Kind

by archea2



Series: Old Tales Twice Told [8]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Folklore, Humor, M/M, Unicorns, Virgin Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 11:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archea2/pseuds/archea2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Among Lestrade's merry men, only one can catch him a unicorn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two of a Kind

**Author's Note:**

> First written to fill a kinkmeme prompt asking for unicorn lore and Sherlock.

"Right, guys." Lestrade clipped his radio back and addressed the huge oak tree on his right, careful to speak from the corner of his mouth. "Back-up in ten, and the Wildlife Crime unit will take over from there. Meanwhile, we are to keep the evidence grounded."

Sadly, the evidence was showing no sign of willingness to be grounded. In fact, it was ambling off at a dainty pace towards the further side of the glade, where it had spotted a patch of wild strawberries.

Behind the oak, John took in a gulp of breath. "Give me your coat," he instructed Sherlock sternly. "I'll run a half-circle and beat it back to you. If it charges, break up the line and — what, now?" For Sherlock was sporting Scowl number 3, aka "if-brains-could-kill-yours- _might_ -disable-a-hummingbird".

"Really, John. I don't expect Lestrade or even Dimmock to be versed in the fundamentals of European lore—"

A double "Oi!" interrupted the tirade. "Who's an officer of the lore here, ye great twat?" Lestrade replied in somewhat heated tones. The unicorn, having received notice that there was after-dinner entertainment, was tossing a curious head in their direction.

"Sherlock, there's no need to make a fuss. I've wrestled a desert sphinx in Helmand. I can do this."

Sherlock merely huffed. "And _that_ , among other factors, is precisely why you can't do this." He turned to Anderson and scrunched up his nose. "Nor he, for reasons germane to the uncensored version of "A Study in Pink". Nor Lestrade, unless the missus was more than justified to look elsewhere."

Lestrade opened and shut his mouth. Sherlock swiveled to face Dimmock.

"You, on the other hand —" He crooked his finger, beckoning the boy-faced Insector close enough to grab his tie and tug the knot upward for inspection. Dimmock gasped. Sherlock sighed.  "Eton or Harrow? No, don't answer. You're no use whatsoever; in fact, none of you are.  _Plus ça change_... Ah, there he is." The unicorn had geared into a graceful trot and was sauntering back in their direction, its head lowered in a gracious salutation. Four out of the five men instinctly cupped their hands over their groin area.

"Don't!" John and Lestrade bellowed in synch, but Sherlock was already striding out to meet the animal, his coat tossed dismissively to the ground. The unicorn halted at once and remained stock still, a study in white, while he ran a light-handed caress down its neck. It whinnied, a short contented arpeggio, then returned the courtesy by nuzzling the dark curls.

Sherlock's back was turned to them, but something in the way he patted the beautiful mane told John that Scowl number 1 ("I'll-consent-to-walk-a-tad-further-through-the-Valley-of-Dumbness") was back in command.

The pastoral idyl would have been perfect if a loud rumble had not signaled the arrival of the Wildlife Crime unit.

"Right." A mesmerized Lestrade cleared his throat. "Now, if Mr. Loreboy would kindly loop his scarf round the neck of the evidence... some of us have actual work to do."

"Along with a spot of research," Anderson added with hardly concealed glee.

John didn't say anything. He watched the two haughty, lanky, milky-hued figures trading hieratic cuddles in the middle of the glade, and wondered which of them he truly envied.


End file.
